


mostly murder and music

by oakleaf_bearer



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Eldritch Lyfrassir Edda, Hurt/Comfort, Nonbinary Lyfrassir Edda, Other, Panic Attacks, Post-The Bifrost Incident, Rated Teen for violence and swearing, Temporary Character Death, lyf joins the mechs, the mechs are idiots and i feel bad for lyf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28149342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakleaf_bearer/pseuds/oakleaf_bearer
Summary: Lyf frowned. "How many of you are there?""Nine! Ten if you count Aurora."Nine. Nine people, or maybe people, or people adjacent things all like Von Raum. All violent and awful and hypnotic in their own way. There was no way Lyf would survive this, especially not with Yog-Sothoth such a near memory.-someone come save the inspector, they're stuck in space with a bunch of immortal idiots
Relationships: Lyfrassir Edda & The Mechanisms Ensemble, Lyfrassir Edda/Marius von Raum
Comments: 85
Kudos: 211





	1. whats the insurance coverage for being kidnapped by immortal space pirates?

**Author's Note:**

> ty to the mechs gc for beta reading this nonsense
> 
> this is my first mechs fic, so sorry if its a bit shit

They pushed through the crowd, ignoring the shouts of annoyance in their wake. They weren't sure if the pressure of the Bifrost against their heels was real or imagined, but they knew they needed to get out, to leave, to escape.

"Inspector Lyf!"

Someone was calling their name. Lyf span, eyes desperately scanning the sea of strangers around them. 

"Lyfrassir!" 

This was a delay they couldn't afford. If they stopped, the Bifrost would catch them and they would be consumed with the rest of Midgard. 

They scanned the crowd, searching for the source of their distraction. Their eyes fixed on him. 

Von Raum. 

The damned infernal idiot was standing, waving at them, grinning like the world wasn't about to end. 

Lyf ran. They shoved past protesting strangers, leaping over obstacles and blockages until they hurtled into the hanger. They screeched to a halt. 

There was someone by their ship. He was leaning against the hull, polishing a gun with a ratty cloth. He grinned as he saw them. 

"Hello. You must be the inspector."

Lyf didn't know who this was, but they knew he was one of them.

"Marius tells us that you would be a valuable asset to the crew." He held up the gun, levelling it at Lyf. "I don't buy it. Impress me."

They spun around, feet carrying them towards the open door of the hanger- 

Where they immediately slammed into something hard and metal. They reeled backwards, crashing to the ground, scrambling away from the looming figure above them. 

"You said you weren't going to shoot them." The figure chastised. 

"I didn't. I threatened to shoot them. There is a difference." 

"Barely. Here," The figure, a man made of metal, crouched next to Lyf, offering them his hand. "We should be going."

"Get away from me." Lyf scrambled to their feet. 

"Now can I shoot them?"

"No." The figure stood, giving Lyf an apologetic smile. "Sorry about this." 

He gripped Lyf's arm, pulling them close and raising a cloth to their mouth. Lyf realised what he was doing and thrashed away, trying to wrench their arm out of the metal man’s grip. It was futile, and the cloth quickly covered their mouth, muffling their shouts of protest. 

"It would be easier if you didn't struggle." The man's words were hazy behind the building fog in Lyf's mind. They tried to weakly push them away, but their knees buckled. 

The last thing before the darkness consumed them was the metal man's arm looping around their waist, stopping them from hitting the floor. 

-

Rolling rainbow starlight twisted around their ankles, writhing along their skin, clawing its way through their veins. They tried to scream, but more of the roiling light forced its way down their throat. 

Colours, far more than should have ever existed, danced along their eyelids. A sharp pain in their arm forced them to look down. 

A box, devoid of the colour and yet seemingly the source of the kaleidoscope around them, sat in their hand. It taunted them with twisted knowledge, kept hidden and out of sight for a single, stretching moment. Desperate for a moment's reprieve they let go of it, watching it tumble into the void where their feet should have been. Another pain. They looked at their other hand, and there the box was, staring at them, whispers of secrets filtering out from it. 

-

Lyf awoke with a start. Their head was throbbing, an unsteady beat pounding behind their eyelids. Groaning, they rolled over, blinking past the grogginess in their thoughts. 

Two painted eyes stared at them from out of the darkness. 

They screamed and scrambled backwards, dropping off the edge of the bed with a grunt, not stopping until their back hit a cold metal wall. 

The thing stood and stared, its glossy eyes fixed on them, peering out from behind its painted-on face. 

"You Fell! Do You Require Medical Assistance?" Its mouth didn't move as it spoke. 

Lyf took a deep, shaky breath. "Are you a doctor?"

"No! Marius Says He's A Doctor, I Can Fetch Him If You Like!"

"Marius? Von Raum?"

"Correct!" 

This wasn't good. Lyf was gods knew where, with Von Raum somewhere nearby, and the Bifrost hot on their heels. 

"I need to leave."

"I'm Afraid That's Not Possible!"

"What? Why not?" 

"It Is Not Safe!" 

"I know it's not, that's why I need to go." Lyf grabbed its shoulders. "You don't understand, the Bifrost is coming."

"I Know!" 

"Then why-" There was a loud crash, followed by several voices shouting directly outside the door. Lyf couldn't make out the words, but they could make out the sound of a loud gunshot. 

"Fuck." They scrambled for a weapon, hand falling on a scalpel. They brandished it in time for the door to slide open with a hiss. 

In marched the source of so many headaches, so many sleepless nights staring at stacks of paperwork regarding escapes and subsequent reappearances and bloody stupid violins. 

"TS, I asked you to call me when they woke up!" Von Raum glared at the wooden soldier. "Aurora told the whole crew!"

It rocked on its heels, looking proud of itself. "But Jonny Told Me Not To!"

"That bastard, I'm glad I shot him." He turned back to Lyf. "Well, how do you feel?" 

"What are you doing here?" 

"You look a little unsteady, do you feel lightheaded?"

"How are you here?!" Lyf knew they were getting somewhat incredulous. 

Von Raum sighed. "I'm the doctor, you're in medbay, why do you think I'm here?" 

"You're a what?" 

"Did I never tell you? Ah well." He shrugged. "So, what's your symptoms?" 

Lyf stared at him. They highly doubted he was anything even remotely close to a medical professional, let alone the most qualified person in... wherever they were. 

"I'm fine." They lied. 

Von Raum shrugged again. "If you say so. If you feel like you're about to keel over, please tell me, I can at least try to catch you." He pressed a button by the door. It slid open. "After you." 

"But, that-" They pointed at the wooden man. "It said it wasn't safe to leave." 

"Oh, it means the ship. It's safe enough to leave medbay, I've cashed in my 'no shooting' card. We each get one for the decade. It's useful if you need a day off. But yes, TS means it isn't safe to leave the ship. Space isn't the most breathable environment to be in." 

"Space..."

"We're on a starship. Come on, I'll show you around." He waved at the open door again. 

Careful to keep their distance, Lyf inched out the door, still clutching the scalpel. 

The man who had pulled a gun on them in the hanger was slumped on the floor in the corridor, blood soaking his shirt. 

"What happened?"

"Aurora told us you were awake." Von Raum shrugged. "Jonny tried to get here first." 

"So you shot him? I thought you had a no shooting rule."

"That was a free pass, he was being a dick. He'll be fine. Come on, are you hungry?"

"Sorry?"

"Hungry? Food? I promise it's edible, the TS was banished from the kitchen." 

"What?"

"The TS? Did you not introduce yourself?" The last question was addressed to the wooden soldier that Lyf had almost forgotten was following them. 

"No!"

"Why not?"

"They Didn't Ask!"

"I didn't know- Sorry?" Lyf was feeling extremely lost.

"Oh don't worry, you haven't offended it. Inspector, meet the Toy Soldier. We aren't sure what it does around here, but it's part of the crew."

"The crew..." Lyf said slowly, stomach sinking. 

"Welcome to The Aurora!" Von Raum waved his hands in a grand gesture. "She's our starship, she takes us where we need to go and she's only tried to kill us a few dozen times." 

"Right." 

"Considering the rest of the crew’s record, that's pretty good." 

Lyf frowned. "How many of you are there?"

"Nine! Ten if you count Aurora."

Nine. Nine people, or maybe people, or people adjacent things all like Von Raum. All violent and awful and hypnotic in their own way. There was no way Lyf would survive this, especially not with Yog-Sothoth such a near memory. 

"Right!" Von Raum paused, clapping his hands together. The metal somewhat muffled the noise. "First stop, the bridge!" 


	2. lyf makes a friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> all of them rolled low on charisma in this chapter

The doors hissed open. Von Raum waved them through, gesturing into the wide open space beyond it. It was covered in panels of flashing lights. A few chairs were bolted to the ground around the place, the largest of which sat in the centre of the room facing a large window. 

"This is the bridge! This is where we tell Aurora where to take us and she decides if she wants to. I recommend staying on her good side." He bumped Lyf's shoulder with his own. They cringed away from him. "Speaking of good sides-" He picked up a small piece of metal and hurled it at the largest chair. "Brian, are you fun today or not?" 

The chair spun with a sigh. Or rather the person sat in it sighed. Lyf immediately recognised him as the metal man from the hanger. 

"Hello again." He waved. "Sorry for knocking you out."

Lyf nodded and awkwardly waved back. 

"And also, for what it's worth, I'm sorry about the Bifrost. I know it's not easy being the lone survivor of something like that."

Von Raum made a small hurried noise.

A void opened up in Lyf's stomach. "Lone survivor?" 

Brian glanced at Von Raum. "I- You didn't- I'm so sorry I thought Marius would've told you." 

"He Was Waiting For The Opportune Moment!" The Toy Soldier announced. 

"Von Raum... what does he mean 'lone survivor'?" 

Von Raum at least had the decency to look remorseful. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"No one else?"

"Not as far as we can tell."

"All of Midgard, just gone?" Their knees felt seconds away from buckling. Distantly, they remembered what Von Raum had said, that if they thought they were going to keel over they should tell him so he could catch them. Lyf didn't want him to catch them. They didn't want to be anywhere near him, or anyone else on this damned ship. "How does an entire planet just die?"

"Lyf, I'm so sorry." Von Raum reached for them. They knocked his hand away. 

"Don't you dare. How long were you planning to wait to tell me that Midgard is gone?" 

"Not just Midgard. All of Yggdrasil." 

Their knees caved. Von Raum grabbed their elbow but they shook him away, shaking with rage or grief or something unnamed. "Don't touch me. Don't- Just stay away from me. All of you, stay away." 

Brian nodded, staring at Lyf pityingly. Von Raum wavered, clearly wanting to argue, but he fell silent easily enough. 

Lyf turned on their heel and shoved past the Toy Soldier, who stepped out of the way with a sharp salute. 

It wasn't until they were far down the corridor that they realised they had nowhere to go. They were trapped on a ship full of maniacal, trigger-happy hooligans with no way of getting away and nowhere to go even if they did. 

They collapsed, crumpling in on themselves, knees hitting the hard metal of the floor. A sob bubbled up from somewhere inside their chest. They let the tears fall. It was the least they could do. 

Midgard, Yggdrasil, all of it burned away, consumed by the rainbow beauty from the black box. Made perfectly in the image of Yog-Sothoth for one fleeting, glorious moment before collapsing in on itself as it was eaten like all those on the train. 

And Lyf had left them all to die. 

They had run, fleeing like a coward, not even warning anyone else, not even trying to save them. They'd packed their bag of meagre belongings and just... left. 

They didn't deserve to be the last one still standing. As they lay, curled in the corridor, the quiet hum of the machinery filling their ears, they sobbed. Tears were cheap mockery of the mourning that Yggdrasil deserved, but they were all Lyf had now. They stayed on the floor until even that ran out. 

A long time later, they slowly uncurled, wincing at the strain on their tired muscles. They blinked around at the corridor, trying to get their bearings. It was unclear which way would lead them back to the bridge. Sighing, they sat up, leaning against the wall. 

"Don't suppose you know the way back?" They asked the wall, not expecting a response. 

It of course did, because why would anything be simple or logical anymore.

A panel in the wall lit up, displaying an arrow pointing down the corridor. 

Lyf sighed. "Oh good." They stood, brushing off their trousers. "Thanks, I guess."

**'Anytime** .' The panel read. ' **I should warn you that Marius is there. I believe he is feeling quite ashamed.** ' 

"Yeah, well, he should." 

**'If you wish to avoid him, I can help** .'

"Thank you, but I do need to talk to him at some point. May as well get it over with."

**'Of course** .' The Aurora quietly navigated Lyf back towards the bridge, her hums a pleasant companion. Finally, they reached the doors to the bridge. Aurora illuminated a panel by the door.  **'Brian has been quite harsh to Marius for not telling you about Yggdrasil. It was mostly justified and quite funny at times, but I do not think either of them will speak of it further unless you want them to** .'

Lyf nodded, then realised that they had no idea if Aurora could see them. "Thank you." 

' **No worries. I suspect I shall be seeing you again soon. Come and visit Nastya and I, she will likely want to meet you too.** '

"Right." Lyf said, and pressed the button for the door. It hissed open. 

Inside, Von Raum was slumped on one of the free chairs looking miserable, with Brian still sitting in his pilot's seat. The Toy Soldier was nowhere to be seen, but Lyf remembered all too well how it had lurked in the shadows of the medbay while they had slept. 

"If that's Jonny then I will shoot you again." Von Raum mumbled.

"I'm not Jonny." 

Von Raum was on his feet in an instant, reaching for them. "Lyf, I'm so sorry, I should've-"

They held up a hand. Mercifully, he fell silent. 

"I don't want to hear it right now. You will apologise to me, but not right now. I just- I'm tired." 

"Of course. Of course, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that- Right, I can show you to your room if you like."

"Please." 

"Okay. Okay, follow me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope lyf knows i care them


	3. what the hell is an octokitten?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tim finds grenades, brian gets grenaded, lyf makes a new friend

The second time Lyf awoke on the Aurora, it was significantly less eldritch and far more 'there is a loud explosion happening somewhere nearby'. 

They stumbled out of bed, blindly reaching for the button by the door. It hissed open and they stuck their head out into the corridor. 

A man barrelled past them cackling, his long hair flying past his face. A small cloud of sparks followed his wake, followed by a swarm of eight-legged purring monstrosities. He spotted Lyf, grinned maniacally, then hurled a grenade down the corridor. It bounced off the ground just as Brian skidded round the corner. He spotted the grenade a fraction of a second too late to avoid getting hit. 

Shrapnel showered the corridor, small chunks of metal flying in every direction. Lyf dove back into their room in time but from the sounds, Brian wasn't so lucky. 

There was a crash, followed by more laughter. Lyf heard a voice shout something unintelligible, then a string of curses that would've made their grandmother’s eyes water. 

Hurried footsteps, then more swearing and laughter, then eerie silence. They waited, counting the seconds until they deemed it safe and no longer exploding.

Carefully, they stepped out, checking the corridor for more grenades. The coast seemed clear, so they set off in the direction that the chaos had vanished. Debris littered the corridor, trailing off towards where a man stood, doubled over with laughter. Lyf coughed gently to get his attention. 

He turned and shot them a grin. Jonny, Lyf remembered, only now he was less blood-soaked and more blood-thirsty. 

"What happened?" 

"Tim's an idiot, that's what happened. He didn't look where he was throwing grenades." 

"I see." Lyf lied. 

A scream echoed down the corridor. Lyf winced as Jonny cackled. 

"All those books are useful for one thing: Ivy is creative with her particular brand of punishment." Jonny grinned at them. "Word of warning, don't mess with Ivy's books. Or if you do, at least tell one of us so we can come and watch." 

"Right." 

"Did you see Brian?"

"I think he got blown up." 

"Damn." Jonny frowned. "I would've liked to have seen that. Ah well, someone should probably drag his brass back to medbay. If you're looking for Marius, that's probably where he is." Jonny set off down the corridor in the direction of Brian's scattered remains. 

"Oh, right, of course." Lyf followed him, trying to ignore the screaming still bouncing off the walls around them. 

Jonny started kicking pieces of debris, picking up bits of Brian's corpse (shell? casing? remains? Lyf wasn't certain). Carefully, he picked up what looked to be Brian's torso, checking it over with a gentleness that didn't match the admittedly limited amount of things Lyf knew about him. He ran a thumb over a dented portion, muttering quietly to himself. As if sensing Lyf's eyes on him, he turned, shooting them a vicious grin. 

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

"Is Brian going to be okay?"

"He'll be fine. Probably whinge about his joints being stiff, but he'll be back on his feet in a couple of hours."

Lyf nodded, bending down to pick up Brian's arm and a chunk of his thigh. When they had gathered most of Brian, they set off towards medbay, with Jonny whistling a tune that Lyf didn't recognise. 

When they reached the door, Jonny kicked the button to open it. 

The door opened and Jonny dumped one of Brian's legs inside, kicking it in the direction of the table. He swore as his foot collided with it. 

Von Raum looked up at them and rolled his eyes, throwing down the journal in his hand. 

"Did you get all of him?" 

Jonny shrugged. "Fucked if I know. His heart’s here, it seems fine. Here," He dumped the torso on the table. "All yours. I'm going to go and see if Ivy's left any of Tim." 

Jonny vanished out of the door, leaving Lyf standing awkwardly next to the table with an armful of metal man. They dumped it next to the torso. Von Raum grinned at them. 

"Did you have fun?"

"Uhh, yeah, sure. Fun." 

"Aurora said Tim found a stash of grenades that he had forgotten about."

"There were certainly grenades." They nodded, raising their eyebrows. 

They fell into an awkward silence. Von Raum kept throwing them glances over the table covered in Brian, clearly wanting to say something but not having the words to say it. 

"Von Raum-"

He snorted. "Really? You're still calling me that?" 

"What?"

"Von Raum." He did an awful impersonation of Lyf's voice. "Why not Marius?"

"Well... I don't know." Lyf admitted. They hadn't thought about it. In the prison, it had been a way of distancing themselves from the prisoners, of not getting attached. Now, the habit felt hard to kick. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Just know that you don't have to. No one else uses surnames. Well, I guess Tim technically does, but he's weird. What sort of name is Gunpowder?" 

Lyf didn't respond, mostly out of confusion. Von Ra- Marius arranged Brian's limbs on the table, lining up the various chunks. 

"What's going to happen?" 

"He'll knit himself back together. Usually takes about an hour or so." 

"All of you can do this?" Lyf asked, remembering the decades they had spent in prison, Jonny's slumped form by the medbay door, everyone's apparent lack of concern that Ivy was torturing Tim.

"Pretty much. It's different with Brian, he's more metal than flesh, but we can all regenerate. It's handy sometimes."

"How?"

"Our mechanisms." He raised his metal hand. "They keep us going. Drag us back once we've shuffled off this mortal coil."

"And you all have one?"

"Yep! TS is a bit backwards, it started off as, you know, that, and then it got its voice. The rest of us started off mortal and picked up our mechanisms on the way." 

Lyf fell silent, considering it. If nothing else, it explained how they were able to stay alive for their entire imprisonment. But living forever, constantly being bought back... That sounded exhausting. They didn't envy them that. 

Marius glanced at them, putting down one of Brian's hands, then picking it back up again and swapping it over to the other side. 

"Lyf, I- I wanted to talk to you. I know it's probably not the best time, but, well, I- Oh fuck off!" He dove across the table, grabbing at something. It wriggled out of his grip, dropping to the floor. 

One of the eight-legged creatures that had been following Tim crawled off towards the corner, meowing mournfully. 

"Damn octokittens, I told Tim they weren't allowed in here."

"Octokittens?"

"Furry little bastards. Eight legs, all the more to store their hatred for us. They like Tim because he lets them get away with anything." He marched over to the door, leaning out. "TS! Come fetch your demonic little friend!" He stalked back into the room, grumbling. 

A minute later, the Toy Soldier appeared at the door with a salute. "Afternoon, Old Chap! I Thought Jonny Was With Ivy!" 

"Jonny? What, no, the octokitten." Marius pointed to the purring creature currently winding its way around the leg of a table. 

"I See!" It crouched down. The octokitten spotted it and crawled over, purring quietly as it clambered into its arms. "Good Afternoon, Lady Hyacinth!"

"Don't tell me that's its name." Marius groaned as Lyf chuckled.

"She Is An Esteemed Lady And Should Be Treated With Respect!" The Toy Soldier said, sound put off, bundling the cat more firmly in its arms. "I Would Ask You To Applogise!"

"I'm not apologising to that thing."

"This Instant!" 

"I think you should say sorry to Lady Hyacinth." Lyf stifled a laugh. 

Marius turned a surprised stare onto them. "Not you too."

"You've offended her."

Marius gawked at them. Grinning, they crossed over to the Toy Soldier, and reached a hand out to the octokitten. She gave their hand a few inquisitive sniffs, then head butted their palm, purring gently. 

"Oh you traitor."

They laughed, giving the cat a few well deserved scratches behind its ears. "It's a pleasure to meet you, my lady." 

"She Likes You!" The TS announced. 

"I like her too."

"You're both the worst. Get that thing out of here, I have a robot to reassemble." 

Lyf raised one of the octokittens paws in Marius' direction. "What's the matter with you? How could you not like something this cute?" 

He shook his head, smiling softly at them. "I hate it because I know what it can do. Don't catch one at feeding time, it's a beast."

"You Simply Don't Feed Them The Food They Like!" 

"Nastya spoils them."

"They Deserve It!"

As if to prove this point, the ocotokitten rolled in the Toy Soldier's arms, batting playfully at its hat. Lyf cooed, scratching under her chin. 

"Demons, the lot of you. Begone if you're not going to help. Shoo, out!" 

The Toy Soldier snapped to attention, giving Marius a salute. "Farewell, Dear Friends! I Shall Take My Precious Cargo Elsewhere!" 

Lyf waved, giving the octokitten one last pat as the TS turned on its heel and marched out, still giving Lady Hyacinth praises. 

Marius shook his head. "You really shouldn't encourage that. One of these days they're going to rise up and eat us all in our sleep."

"Oh hush. You'll all recover."

"Still, it's the principle of it all." 

"Don't tell me you're scared."

Marius ducked his head, grumbling. 

"You actually are, aren't you?" Lyf felt themselves start to grin. "Marius, are you scared of the octokittens?"

Marius' head snapped up. He was beaming. "You called me Marius!"

"I- Oh, I did." Lyf shrank back a little. "You said it was okay, so I-"

"It is! It is okay! More than! I like it."

They glanced up at him. "Really?"

"Absolutely. Bit less formal than Von Raum, isn't it?" 

"I suppose. If you're sure..."

Marius nodded enthusiastically. 

"In that case, I'll stick with Marius."

"You two should get a room." Brian groaned from where he was slowly reforming. "Or at least flirt somewhere that isn't over my corpse. It's very distracting."

Marius threw a piece of scrap metal at him. 

"Ow." Brian deadpanned. 

Lyf laughed, blushing furiously. They glanced at Marius, but he was looking away, fiddling with something on the table. His ears were tinged red. 

"I'll, ah, I should be going."

He looked up at them. "Oh, I mean, you don't have to."

"Really?"

"Brian's going to be reforming for a little while, and until his circuits reset he isn't really the best conversation. It would be nice to have some company."

"In that case, I'll stay." 

Marius beamed. "Good. Good, great."

Lyf smiled back. "Great."

"Good."

"And you say I'm not good conversation."

"Shut up or I'm turning you off again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reviews from the mechs gc: what if jonny was soft? 
> 
> WHAT IF JONNY WAS SOFT????
> 
> WHAT IF   
> JONNY   
> WAS SOFT???????


	4. lyf loses a pinecone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lyf plays cards and has their blood stolen, all in the pursuit of friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty to jimmy for beta reading, you are extremely patient with my dumb idiot adhd brain and i care you

Back in their room, Lyf had their head in their hands, feeling surprisingly sorry for themself. 

**'He's an idiot.'**

"Yeah, I know. Trust me, I am, unfortunately aware of that."

**'Just making sure.'**

Lyf sighed. "Does he even have any actual medical experience?" 

**'To my knowledge, no. I believe he used to be a pilot.'**

"Well thank goodness we have Brian then. I don't know how much I'd trust Marius as a pilot given how he is as a doctor." 

**':)'**

Lyf frowned at the panel. Whenever Aurora did that, it meant she had some information that would likely give them a headache for the rest of the day. "What?"

**'Brian used to be a doctor.'**

"Of course he did." Lyf put their head in their hands. "I hate living on this ship sometimes."

**':('**

"No offence." 

**'None taken. I know not to put much faith into your judgement of character. You did just flirt with Marius over Brian's corpse.'**

"I wasn't flirting!" 

**'Marius was.'**

That got their attention. "Really?" 

Aurora beeped affirmative. 

"Huh. Interesting."

**'Take it from one half of the only successful long term relationship on this me, these people are painfully bad at making their emotions known.'**

"What do you suggest I do?"

**'Oh I'm not getting any more involved.'**

"What? Why not?"

**'Because this is funny :)'**

"You're the worst." Lyf pushed their chair backwards, standing up with a sigh. "And what do you mean long term relationship?"

**'Nastya is my girlfriend. You still haven't come and visited us.'**

"In my defence," they said, stepping out of their room and setting off down the corridor, the tablet displaying Aurora’s messages in hand. "You haven't told me where and I'm fairly certain Marius is avoiding me now."

**'He's attempting to psychoanalyse Tim as he reforms.'**

"Ah, right.' Lyf said, smiling to themself. "Let me guess, Tim's not enjoying it."

**'He's been eying the scalpels. He says hi by the way. Your introduction had not gone how he had planned.'**

"He had something planned?"

**'There were guns involved. Take the next left.'**

Lyf turned the corner. "Are there ever not guns involved when this lot are around?"

**'Ashes prefers fire.'**

"Of course. I still haven't met them, have I?"

**'They're in the common space with Raphaella and Ivy if you would like to take a detour.'**

They considered it. "How likely am I to get set on fire?" 

**'I could ask Ivy for an accurate prediction if you like, but I believe it to be unlikely.'**

"In that case, to the common space." Aurora updated the route on their tablet. "24 hours on board and and I'm already clued into the arson habits. I'm doing good, aren't I?" 

**'You've been on board for 37.5 hours.'**

They sighed. "And yet it feels like a lifetime."

Aurora hummed in what Lyf had taken to interpret as her laughter. 

A short walk later and Aurora had brought them to a door. 

**'Here we are. Good luck :)'**

"Thanks." Lyf opened the door. 

This room was bigger than most of the other rooms they had seen so far. A mismatched set of comfortable looking sofas and chairs were strewn about the place, some patched in places, a couple singed along the edges.

Ivy was curled up in the corner on a beanbag, book open on her lap, seemingly ignoring Raphaella as she fluttered about. 

The scientist caught sight of them as they entered through the door.

"Inspector!" Raphaella waved at them. "May I borrow some of your blood?"

"Borrow?" 

"Fine, keep."

"Umm." They said. "No?" 

"Damn, that's what Ashes said too." 

"Hi." Ashes waved from where they were sat by a table. "Cards?" They held out a pack of cards.

"What are we playing?" 

They grinned. "You'll pick it up." 

"Just a little bit of blood." Raphaella whined, laying across an armchair to stare at them as Ashes dealt a seeming random number of cards. "You don't need all of it."

"What do you plan to do with it?" Lyf asked, raising an eyebrow. There had been a rumour in the prison that Raphaella had been trying to work out how to mind control people using their fingerprints, but no one had ever had any proof. Regardless of whether or not it was true, Lyf was hesitant to hand over any part of themselves. 

"I'm trying to figure out how similar to blood Brian's coolant actually is. He keeps running low on it and I want to make sure I can help top him up in an emergency."

"Oh."

"And also I wanted to see if being so near the Bifrost had any lingering effects on you that could be weaponised." She finished with a vicious grin.

"Ah." The ever-present violent option. Somehow they always managed to find it. "Right then."

"So can I?"

They shrugged. What was the worse that could happen? "Why not, go ahead."

"You'll probably regret that." Ashes said with a chuckle. 

"Probably. Saves her trying to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and taking it without asking." 

An hour later, Lyf still wasn't sure what game they had been playing, but they owed Ashes a case of whiskey, three shoes, and a pinecone. 

Sometime during the process, the Toy Soldier had come in wearing a frilly apron with a suspicious amount of stains on it and handed out mugs of something that it called tea. Lyf had gone to take a sip, only for Ashes to catch their eye at the last second. They had shaken their head and Lyf had lowered the mug, feigning being distracted by something in the corner of the room and simply 'forgetting' about the drink. The Toy Soldier had accepted this with a salute, rattling the remaining mugs on the tray, and set off to find Jonny. 

"By The Way, Chum!" It said, pausing in the doorway with a click of its heels. "Nastya Said She Was Almost Done With Repairs If You Would Like To Go And Visit Her!!" 

"I should probably do that." Lyf said, standing from the table. Ashes waved goodbye, with Ivy throwing a quick farewell from where she was still sat on the beanbag. 

"Don't forget your tea!" Ashes called after them. They grimaced, but took the mug with them, careful to keep it far enough away from themself that they wouldn't accidentally inhale any fumes. 

Along the way, they overheard Jonny swearing violence upon the Toy Soldier for the 'abomination of a drink' he had just consumed. 

They reached the door to the engine room just as a panel illuminated next to the door. 

**'Nice of you to join us.'**

"I did promise."

**'Yes you did. Welcome, Nastya is just finishing up.'**

"Promise she won't try to kill me?"

**'You're safe here :)'**

Lyf chuckled. "Is anywhere here really safe?"

**':)'**

"Yeah, thought as much."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyf has been on this ship for a very short amount of time and they are already exhausted with the concept of the mechanisms, i care them so much and i cannot wait to inflict more pain on them 
> 
> i asked my brother for something that lyf could lose in the card game and he said a pinecone

**Author's Note:**

> poor lyf, they dont know whats coming 
> 
> come find me [on insta](https://www.instagram.com/statement_boo_gins/) or [on tumblr](https://oakleaf--bearer.tumblr.com/), i take prompts/dms/requests/offers of marriage on both!
> 
> comments and kudos keep me writing, pls leave some!


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